Blogging to Cope With a Breakup
This is my first post, ever.
And it could be my last.
This may have been an impulsive want. To make this post, and hope that I can get something out of it, where the world sees it, and it’s not directly linked to my name. I can get my feelings out, be whiny, be corny, whatever is necessary.
Why Am I Doing This?
I’m not sure of what to say, or how to say it. I never was good at language arts, or any English portion of my tests. Hell, even autocorrect has given up. I felt like I needed something to get my feelings out, as they say that is a healthy way of dealing with emotions. I’m not usually the type of guy to open up. I usually keep it in, then I’m a dick to whoever I’m with or I spend money replacing the things I broke. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that’s not the best way of dealing with things. I’m hoping after I deal with this, I could make this into something where I talk about my passions.
What Emotions Could You Be Feeling? You’re 19.
You’re 100% right, I am 19. Right now I feel like I don’t have the right to speak on this kind of stuff. I think I should just get to the next day, and then the next one, and then the next one. My emotions right now are strong. I just went through my very first true breakup. I’m sure I’m late to the wagon for that, and that being, I wanted to share this experience.
Well, What Happened?
Taking a break. I have been quite busy the last month or so. I always am trying to take something on, I am in school now, and I work 60 hours a week, and I try to do any side-hustle I can, or project (eg. blankspaceblog.com) and it leads to a lot of stressors. My girlfriend was dealing with something similar. 3 months. That’s not a long time, at all!
It isn’t a long time, but I’m on day four, and I’m losing my mind. This was my first long-term (2 years) relationship, this girl was all of my firsts so far. At the same time I feel nothing right now. I know I’m in a heightened emotional state right now, I can’t talk about it without tearing up, but when I think about it, I feel distanced. I feel like I’m zoning out as I hear someone at a party explaining their drama to me.
Is This The Right Way To Feel?
I’ll be honest, I have no clue! My future posts may say yes, they may say no. I think I’ll ask someone who has led me through plenty of troubles, usually homework ones.
ChatGPT Says:
“What you’re describing is a mix of emotional shock, grief, and dissociation, all wrapped up into one overwhelming experience. It’s like your brain is short-circuiting because it doesn’t know how to handle the intensity of the emotions right now.”
So, I guess it’s okay to feel that way. Don’t judge me for talking to an AI about my feelings, it’s a new world, a new generation, and I don’t have people to call up at 3:30 AM.
What I’m Gonna Do
My plan with her is we are going to grow personally, see other people and meet again in three months. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I need to live with myself either way. I need to focus on other things, and for those who are going through something similar, maybe try blogging. It costs $5/month for the feeling that you get to throw your opinion on the web and your feelings.
This blog may only have one post, and maybe that’s all I needed. Maybe it’s something you need, too.